The Truth Hurts

Our lives have seen a lot of changes the past month and a half.  With the loss of our parents, we have been forced to look into our futures with a new "normal."  College, weddings, our first homes, and having kids all take on a new light...well, most days it's still a shadow.  Or a snap shot with two very key figures cut right out of the center.  My heart still aches at these new images, and I'm sure it will for a very long time.  But that's all a ways off, and right now I have more immediate things to adjust to.

With the end of my senior year comes a lot of awesome opportunities and events, but each now comes with mixed emotions...Tomorrow night is the National Honor Society banquet in which seniors honor their parents...good practice for graduation, I suppose.  And then there's the choir trip to New York City!  I'm sure there will be pics from that one :)  And next comes prom!! to which I have a wonderful date and group of friends to share the evening with.    ...All wonderful, all events I wish I could share with Mom and Dad. 

If you're reading this, I assume it's because you want to know how we're really doing.  So here it is:  we really miss Mom and Dad.  We still laugh and enjoy life as much as possible, but right around the corner sorrow often lurks.  Today was one of those days I wanted to spill my guts out to Mom...about what exactly? I'm not sure.  But she would have listened as I sat on the kitchen counter and told her about life. That I know.  And if I had ended up crying even with the stress of Mom and Dad's passing being out of the picture...Dad would have come through the door and given me a big strong hug. kissed the top of my head. and even though the craziness of this time of year would have still been there, they would have made it all okay again. at least for a little while.  And I miss that.  A lot.

I miss seeing Mumsey's goofy side--the side she reserved for a lucky few while she was making dinner for us.  :)  Her gentle spirit and the patient wisdom that came with it. 

I miss Pops.  Being able to leave sticky notes on his computer at church. and finding them in random desk drawers years later.  The crazy adventures we had floating down rivers and picking up dog kennels on a Saturday. 

 Their love and security.  I miss knowing they'd be there for me no matter what.

I guess even though they're not physically here, they will never leave me.  The lessons and values they have instilled in me will last a lifetime.  I know what a good marriage looks like. I know the importance of an apology.  I know what it is to be human and yet strive every day to look more like my Creator.  And we have been left in very capable hands.